Ode to Nanaimo

Nanaimo bars are the best thing Canada ever did.
They should be their national bird. Fuck the Loon.
And fuck that they're not a bird.
Stupid Rules.

Seriously, look at that goodness.1. It's chocolate on top.
2. The best sugary, creamy filling in the middle.
3. A chocolate-coconut, brownie-like bar on the bottom.
4. And my mouth around all of that.

I love them so much, this is the window in front of my desk:And my friends make me stuff like this:Gabrielle St. Pierre (b. 1979)
3-D Nanaimo Bar, 2009
chocolate bar and post-it on flesh.

Anyway, since the oven broke at work, they serve them all the time. (They buy them made).
And so I steal them all the time. (I bring my lunch).
Yesterday I got one. And then I went to get some water 'cause they're really rich.
I obviously couldn't wait to get to my desk so I started eating it right there at the water cooler.
Bad Idea.
I stuck my fork into it with such uncivilized force that I couldn't balance my plate right and tried to overcompensate, causing the innocent Nanaimo Bar to go flying across the room and onto the floor. I almost cried.But then I went and got another one and life was awesome again.
That was before I ate 1.5 more and almost vomited.

Note: It may seem like I am being melodramatic but don't judge.
You've never had a Nanaimo Bar. You don't get it.
Back off. Get your own chocolate sandwich.