Reason #37 to be jealous of Jennifer Ghersi

I received this in my inbox shortly after my previous post.
The subject read: "Swatch of my day".

Swatch of the Day

I started a Swatch collection recently and every day I wear a different Swatch. It's the highlight of my life and I've even started matching them to my outfit. I know this goes completely against my anti-matching policy... So sue me. Live a little. Let your hair down. An eye for an eye.
People* at work are starting to get really excited about it so I've decided to bring the tradition to the 2.0! Every day I shall post the Swatch of the Day for your viewing pleasure.
This is a pretty great idea for a number of different reasons:
1. You get to keep up with the latest trends of my wrist.
2. You get to see the exact time the picture was taken.
3. You get to see really close-up shots of skin.

By the way, I have 7 Swatches in my collection so far so this may only last a week.

*Eve casually asked me what watch I was wearing today.

I'm watching you like if you were the delivery man

I've got just one word for you: Analytics.
I'm not really sure how you pronounce it because I don't know where the accent goes: analYtics or anAlytics?
(But I do know the word "anal" is in there.)

PS- My blog is so popular.

Fun at the office

I don't care if everyone keeps asking me if I got demoted, I love my new spot at work. It's in front of a giant window so I get to watch all the delivery guys try to back their huge trucks into a tiny space to unload it. It's so fun to watch people feel stupid. It's my new favorite pastime and I get to enjoy it all day long. (It took up 4 hours in my time sheet last Thursday.)
Friday was even more special. The guy in the picture was trying to load up his truck with some boxes which he had in a 5 foot stack next to him. He accidentally dropped the top box and nonchalantly looked around to make sure nobody saw. That's when I banged on the glass and did that sweet move where you point at the person with one finger and then at your eyes with two. It was pretty awesome and one of my proudest moments at work. I'm gonna put it in my book.

I thought he was taking a picture

It's just my life

Not only do you wish that my sister was your sister (or in Yoann's case, lover) but you also wish your boyfriend was famous.
I had a "viewing" at my house yesterday to watch Jeremy on MUSIQUEPLUS (the Montreal version of TRL) promoting his t-shirt brand, Rated Rookies. It was pretty 8th grade and pretty awesome and I forgot the popcorn.
Enjoy this video in all it's French glory.



* Feel free to contact me with any autographed headshot requests you may have. I can hook you up.

Let's take a vote...

This is my new neighbor at work.
He's pretty sexy.

Who thinks this is a good idea?

Ain't no such thing as a virtual trustfall...

I said:

Hi. I am interested in getting more details about your puppy. I am unsure of her age because my French skills are very limited. Please get back to me when you can. Thanks! -Jessica

She said:

hello, you do not understand french, and you are lucky that i am bilingual, i do understand english so you can write to me in english and there will be no problem. actually, i am mme anita miller, my husband is a diplomat. for now, we are in cameroon where he has been sent for a diplomatic mission. we went together because i was pregnant of our first child. we went with our puppy and for now, since i shall soon be delivered of our baby, i am feeling too tired and i cannot more take good care of the puppy also the climate here is too harsh for the puppy. we have therefore decided to offer it to anybody that shall be ready to pay the transport fee. concerning the age which you said you were unsure of because you do not understand french very well, the puppy is 9weeks old,it has recieved all its vaccins and all papers are complete. we are waiting for your reply. thanks. Anny

I said:

Hey Anny.
I am still interested in the puppy.
If it's possible, could you send me some pictures.
Also, how much is the transport fee.
Thanks a lot,
Jessica

She said:

hello, that is the picture. the transport fee is 197$. i am waiting for your reply.
Anny.
I said:

Well princess is very cute but unfortunately I think I will continue my search for a male dog. Thanks anyway for the info. Good luck with the baby. Both of them, actually!

She said:

no, you misunderstand me. princess is just the name i gave to the file , since when you attach a file in your message, you must name it. it was just out of a little negligence that i did not put the real name of the puppy. its real name is WITTY, and it is a male as you saw in the ads, not a female as you now think. so you should know that the puppy is a male and its name is WITTY, dont mind, princess is just the name i usedf to attach the file, since a file attached must be named. if you doubt of what we say to you, i suggest that you can call my husband and ask him any question that you want concerning the puppy. he is actually using this phone number: +237 22 06 01 39. thanks and we are waiting for your reply. or if it be that the transport fee is too high, i think we can co-sponsor it because we really want this puppy to go into good hands.

I said:

Hmmmm, I don't really want to call your husband, thanks.
But it is a bit suspicious since the ad said you had a female and the file was named princess.
I've heard of many people who name their dog princess but never anyone who thinks highly enough of their files to name them such a thing.
It all seems a bit strange.

***Stay tuned for her response***

This Canadian Life

This picture was taken from my desk, minutes before this post.

There's nobody like my PUPU

My sister's pretty much the coolest person in the entire world without even trying. Even if you don't know it, you guys all wish you could be as cool and pretty as her but you can't so don't even try. She sent me this lovely bouquet of flowers yesterday cause i was feeling like shit (blame it on the baby pills). She just does things like that. And all the time. That's how cool she is. I'm obsessed with her.

bahareh is my life coach

This should have been the first post.
Anyway, I just want to say that it was "B" who inspired me to create this blog.
If you have any complaints about this (mainly Jelsen), leave a comment.
Thanks.
Also, I don't have any pictures of B on my work computer so here's a google image result for "Bahareh".

Baby Pills (that's french immigrant for birth control)

Baby Pills are the devil.
They ruined my life for 6 days.
They made me depressed and emotional and cry for no reason. In public.
I also got in an 8th-grade-style phone fight with my French lover.
Seriously, I think having a baby would have been cooler.
At least I would have made more money.
I wish I had some EMO pictures to put up here to make this post credible, but instead all i have is these rather gay ones.
Here they are anyway.
Oh, this was in new york.