"I can't hear you, it sounds like shit."'

I lost my cell phone and didn't notice until like 20 minutes later.

When I retraced my steps, I found it in the public bathroom of Berri U'QAM.

And by "in" I really mean on the floor. Next to the toilet.

It basically looked like this:

I'm pretty sure I've been walking around with poo in my ear.

Swatch of the Day

This is one of my most favoritest from my collection since I used to be a dorky gymnast who wore gymnastics shirts to school every day of the week. I think I'll bring that back, except that instead of school, it will be me alone in my apartment since that's what I do now. One of the coolest shirts I had had a picture of a girl doing a leap with a basketball, soccer ball, baseball, and football crossed out all around her and it said "You don't need balls, to be a great athlete." I remember thinking that was the best when I was 11 because it had the word "balls" on it. I guess I've always been this cool. Speaking of cool, this Swatch has Nadia Comaneci on it who was the first gymnast to ever get a perfect ten in the Olympics. On the bars, my always and forever favorite event, and in Montreal. This Swatch is a tribute to that little fact. It says 1.00 instead of 10.00 because the scoreboards weren't even equipped to display ten's. So rad.

Alli's Still Got the Scoop!

My friend Alli is an official lawyer.

Yesterday, she got her picture up on her firm's website.

I promise that's really her and I didn't google "11 year old girl in blazer".

Also, I'm not allowed to post the firm name in case people google it and end up on this here blog. Apparently it's not professional or something.

Oh, and it was a doubly special day for Alli yesterday, because the date was 9-02-10, and that's her all-time favorite show.

We're so proud of you, Alli!

My New Office

This is how I work every day.

Getting fired is the best thing that ever happened to me.

PS- It's Casual Tuesday.

This is how I spend my Saturday night. And I fucking love it.

I just gave myself a very classy manicure while playing Mtv Cribs with my brother on Skype.

I think I will get a lot of professional jobs with it.

The left hand's looking pretty good.

The right hand's looking pretty busted and I really don't think it's fair since it's the hand that did the good job.

I've made it big

Not having a job is the best job I ever had.

I get to spend my entire day listening to Doug fart and eating chocolate cake. And I get paid for it. I'm probably the most succesful person on the planet right now. And I'm talking about the money kind of succes. The only one that matters.

PS- Doug just vomited this. And also, I love you.