Swatch of the Day

Thanks to my Butt and Jenni for this awesome Swatch I've been eyeing for a couple years now. I just discovered that three of the cheese holes are actually perforated!

And it smells like real cheese! Actually I made that second part up.

On a related and also really sad note, the co-founder/CEO of Swatch, Nicolas Hayek, died today. I find it strange/appropriate that I happen to be wearing a new Swatch on this day. Especially since it's been so long since the last time. Let this be my tribute to Nicolas. R.I.P.

Ellen thinks she knows my phone number.

She sent me a text message.

When I didn't respond, she sent me another one.

Finally, she got this.

Hanging out at home

I shoved Doug in a basket.

You're welcome.

Just Us Girls

Doug was far away for a really long time and it was the worst.

But let's not talk about that.

He's here now and I love him.

Wanna know why?

Because he does things like this.

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

I have a job now.

I can stop being depressed and blog again.

Actually I was never depressed, being unemployed ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuules.

But now I have an actual office to go to, and a laptop, and a fancy office chair.

I'm farting in it right now.

Yay!

Celebrity Doug

Oh, hey again.
Check out my new tumblr where I will be posting awesome drawings of Doug as different celebrities. It's crazy, sexy, cool just like your face.
Also, While I was searching google images for lil wayne's tattoos for the first post, look at one of the images that popped up. It's FATE. Or IRONY. Or DESTINY. Or CHILD. Or maybe just accidentally awesome SEO tactics.or D.) All of the Above.
or A.) and B.) but not C.)
And I'm done now.

"I can't hear you, it sounds like shit."'

I lost my cell phone and didn't notice until like 20 minutes later.

When I retraced my steps, I found it in the public bathroom of Berri U'QAM.

And by "in" I really mean on the floor. Next to the toilet.

It basically looked like this:

I'm pretty sure I've been walking around with poo in my ear.